Blog 0.5 Lost in translation

The question for today is, "Why do I keep losing to Mr.P?". A few nights ago Mr.P, Ms.Suzuki, Mr.Catjer, Ms.Tintin along with myself played ping pong at a pool house in a certain suburb in Melbourne.

The street outside the pool house was crawling with gangsters and their Japanese tuned import cars. Tintin was freaking out coming to this area so she packed her .44 while I had my beam sabers hidden in my shorts. Mr.Catjer was injured so he couldnt do much while Suzuki had her MMA and Mr.P was ready to shoot fireballs from his calves.

That is how scary this place is. You definitely need to come in packs if you want to play ping pong in this neighbourhood. Below is a picture of the area

Yes, there was some gunfighting going on, luckily we weren't hurt. [Image is from blogthis. GTA4 is property of Rockstar North]

Quick story between the rivalry between Mr.P and me. In 1997, I met Mr.P on an online rivalry website. This site is now defunct but our 'friendship' still continues. This site is where two or more random people get together from all over the globe to challenge one another in a variety of sport/games such as video games, flying kites, and even baking cakes. Every player's profiles had skill levels which makes it fair between rivals. During that time, Mr.P and I had similar skill levels, but now come to think of it, I believe he may have fudged those stats of his. Anyways, on with this lengthy story.

So we played doubles (mixing up partners as we progressed) and quickly made up some rules on how to play as the four of us genuinely didn't know how to play ping pong. I mentioned four, yes, because a certain fifth person has had considerable ping pong experience.

Ping pong is a really awesome sport to play. I wish we could do this every week. Anyways, we then onto the main attraction of the night... SINGLES ACTION and no, I don't mean speed dating. I mean one vs one ping pong battle. However, I quickly lost against Mr.P and so did everyone else. It seems apparent to everyone that Mr.P had been playing more than one game of ping pong then he had led us to believe. He had an irritating serve which bounced really low and had alot of spin to it. He also forehand smashed the ball more than anyone of us during the night. If he was trying to hide the fact that he had months of ping pong training, he was doing a poor job of it. He even had ping pong gloves on. By the way, watching that forehand smash youtube video is making me salivating for more ping pong action... I WANNA SMASH SOMEBODY, yes... him!

I know its appears that I am making excuses for losing. I am not making any excuses and I admit Mr.P was the better player of the night. But since I lost, might as well provide an explanation/excuse whatever you want to call it.

I know why I have lost to every single competition I've had to Mr.P, it's because I have been misunderstanding him. Recalling back the times when I spoke to Mr.P prior to a game, it makes sense now why I lost. It's because he is an experience player and has practised many games for lengthy periods whereas I am a beginner with no or little experience coming into that sport. I dont believe I have no skill, its that I should be playing against someone who is as inexperienced as I am (such as Mr.Nat Chan or Ms.Suzuki) and together we can progress in skill and experience!

Below is an example of what I meant

Scene : Battle of Pro Evolution Soccer (Playstation 2)

Me: Hey Mr.P, wanna play PES? I just got this new game and wanna kick your butt.

Mr.P: Ok, I will let you kick my butt.

RESULT: ME LOSING.

Translation of what Mr.P really means:

You fool! I know that you will be using Liverpool, while I will be using Manchester United. Anyone but you knows that PES has severely screwed up the stats for all Machester United players giving them god-like powers while the Liverpool players stats are like the team stats for the Malaysian National football team. Its like taking candy from a baby.

Scene : Battle of Guitar hero (Playstation 3)

Me: Hey Mr.P, I heard you just got Guitar hero. Want me to kick your butt?

Mr.P: Ok, I will let you kick my butt.

RESULT: ME LOSING.

Translation of what Mr.P really means:

You fool! I actually bought that game months ago and I have actually been playing it everyday for 2 hours a night and 3 hours on the weekends. I will trick you into thinking I have not been playing by planting an old newspaper from months ago to 'prove' to you that the newspaper's 'date' was when I last played the game. muahahaha

You get the picture? So now I have learnt my lesson and I posed yet another challenge to Mr.P, if you are reading this. I will beat you in a new sport to both of us, BADMINTON! I will be training hard and come back to kick your butt.